?

Log in

Thoughtful

Do I Honestly Love My Scars?

      So, today in the car, my brother was going on about how much hates tattoos. My mother agrees. However, she says she'd understand if I had one done over one of my scars.
(Can you do that, by the way? I'm not even sure if it's possible to have it done over scar tissue, but I'm not sure.)
I'm not to fond of the idea...One is on my knee and the other is right above my foot, so they aren't terrible places to have tattoos, even. It's just that I've gotten very accustomed to having them- they're both about four years old, which is time enough to really get used to something.

I think maybe I might, though, remove the one above my foot, now that I'm thinking about it. Due to the fact that the scar on my knee has turned white and faded some (never mind that I usually wear jeans or long skirts or dresses), people don't notice it that often. The other one though, while much smaller, has gotten red and almost infected-looking (though my doctor said it's fine) as time has gone on, and because I typically don't wear socks, it gets commented on quite a bit. I've gotten very sick of hearing about how worried the other person is, questions about how long I've had it, how it happened, why it looks atypical, and so on. I especially hate the disbelief about how it happened.
 If I don't think the person I'm telling it to will believe how it actually happens, I say I tripped. They usually don't believe that either (It's pretty bad looking) so I end up saying something like: 'with great force...onto rocks....and the rocks kind of seared though  the skin, and some of the wounds didn't heal properly- I have a much longer one on my knee, actually'. Which is nearly entirely the truth, and easier to believe. Also, it does look kind of...diseased.

But I remember a year ago, I hurt my knee trying to play basketball (or maybe it was just dribbling...?) and it bled like crazy, covering up the original scar, and I was pissed at the thought of my new injury ruining my scar tissue.
I think it's because it makes me look a little badass. (I'm the shy,  geeky girl in the corner, who once cried over missing a math problem, so I greatly appreciate anything that makes me look the least bit like I'm the kind of person who'd fight you. )  On the other hand...it makes me really sad looking at it sometimes, and seeing it nearly every day.
BUT: It's been part of me for nearly half a decade, and I've gotten into the habit even of running my fingers along it (they're both raised) , so I can't picture not having them. I don't think I'd really feel like me anymore...
Is that entirely weird, though?

Comments

You can get tatoos over scars.

But I agree with you. Mine are totally a part of me, although I wouldn't mind if the one was gone, seeing as it's 9 inches long. It's fading, though...

-Amanda